What Can I Do On My Own to Improve My Relationship?
Love
- Verbally narrate your emotions, not just irritation, so your partner has insight into your feelings.
- Eye contact is love. Curiosity without judgement is love.
- Remind each other of past happy memories and adventures. Take a break from the daily grind.
- Try to see yourself positively through your partner’s eyes. Avoid projecting on them if you are feeling bad about yourself.
- Be generous with loving. If you feel stingy, investigate why, don’t just dismiss or put yourself down.
Conflict
- Banish sarcastic, passive aggressive comments. Say what you mean.(If you can’t imagine this being feasible, a thorough relationship evaluation is in order).
- Use direct “I statements” with a generous interpretation: “I am sure you didn’t mean anything, but I got my feelings hurt about xyz. I just wanted you to know so it’s not swept under the rug. I don’t want to be passive aggressive.”
- Wrap it up with love and affection: “Thank you for listening. I really appreciate your time and respect.”
- Memorize Steps:
- Identify feelings directly.
- Interpret and discuss feelings with partner with generosity + respect.
- Make up and move forward. Seal the deal.
- Evaluate if either person still feels resentment, restart steps.
- Resolving conflict well increases sex-love-trust, so embrace the opportunity when confusions arise!
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