The idea of sharing a long amount of time– or the rest of your life– with someone you love can evoke an interesting double bind. A sigh of relief, and feelings of safety and assurance, and a feeling of trepidation. Will I be able to do that? What will it be like? Ultimately, the decision to commit long term takes a leap of faith, love and oxytocin (the bonding hormone, not oxycodone the opiate).
Doing a bit of front loading before the actual commitment can be of tremendous benefit before you take the leap. However, most people don’t do this. Why?