The child would walk in my office at the child guidance center training site, and all I saw was a precious, nervous, sometimes closed off little human. While there was often a protective coating, it was easy to see through it, and experience their true heart, easily reachable and open for love and attention. The children, who were brought to the clinic, just needed love, luck and support. The adults in their life, in my mind, were the real clients. The hurts of life, lack of support, on-going responsibilities often created the perfect storm where adults might be vulnerable to turn on the kids. I decided then, as a child abuse advocate, becoming a couple’s therapist would serve my mission. By strengthening love between adults, a ripple effect might be created. Happier couples, happier home, happier kids, better society.
It’s been 20 years since that training site and my heart is overwhelmed thinking about the thousands of clients, doing courageous work, changing the course of neglect and abuse. I’m sure it sounds corny, but I do think love makes everything better and I’m with the poet Rumi who says, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”
Sex - Love - Trust.
Three life sustaining elements that bring happiness and heartbreak. We can throw ourselves headfirst in them, relish the moments, or shy away from them, try to avoid them all together, but we can’t escape and there is never a dull moment when they are around.
It seems like now, more than ever, is a perfect time to have fun and celebrate the importance of Love. All kinds of Love. The love we hold for lovers, friends, children, strangers, others in the community. Whether you are a student, professional, parent or not, single, married, “it’s complicated,” looking or done with the whole thing, whatever fits your unique scenario, we want you to participate.
I would love to visit your organization or event to speak on the theme LOVE MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER. Any proceeds donated to 1in6, or NoMore, or to local domestic violence organizations of your choice. A short, positive approach gleaned from 20 years of being a therapist, exploring how to harness the power of love for your self and decreasing barriers built against it.